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The Looming Spectre of Death
Jun. 22nd, 2007 08:07 amI found out last night that my Uncle Tom, who has been in the hospital or hospice since Thanksgiving, has been refusing dialysis since Monday. This is not a great surprise, as he is a proud man who has always done for himself, and being bedridden for most of a year can't be pleasant for anyone.
He has a grown son who I think will be alright, an ex wife that I don't think has been to see him, and a wife who has sat by his bed every night and held his hand. He lost a son, some years ago, which is what caused the split with his ex, and he's said he's looking forward to seeing him in heaven where they can finally talk man to man (Justin had severe cerebral palsy, and could not speak. When he was 15, he caught pneumonia, and he could not cough).
Granny, though, is devastated. She keeps telling us she's at peace with this and doesn't want him to suffer, but I know my Granny, and she is not ok (and who could be, with their oldest son dying?) I am going to drive up and sleep on her couch for a while, and take her places to keep her spirits up, and just sit and hug her, or whatever it is she needs. I am perfectly prepared to drop everything and move to Bastrop if I don't think she should be alone. She is nearly ninety and lives alone (in an assisted living facility that she loves and where she has tons of friends, I wouldn't take her from there), and she doesn't know it, but one of my cousins is also dying (colon cancer - he has a wife and three children, including a set of twins that are just over a year old).
Granny is just about my favorite person in the world. She was born in 1919 and has been quirky and offbeat and irrepressible from the very beginning. She also has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met. She's the kind of person who cries when she watches the news and sees that someone has been killed at war, or in a traffic accident, because that's someone's baby. I am so afraid that loosing her own baby will kill her. I can't loose her. Granny has to live forever. It's in her contract.
Thinking about death all last night and all this morning led me to come downstairs and give my mother an express wish for my own funeral, should it occur during her lifetime. I told her everyone has to wear a funny hat. She burst into tears and hugged me.
He has a grown son who I think will be alright, an ex wife that I don't think has been to see him, and a wife who has sat by his bed every night and held his hand. He lost a son, some years ago, which is what caused the split with his ex, and he's said he's looking forward to seeing him in heaven where they can finally talk man to man (Justin had severe cerebral palsy, and could not speak. When he was 15, he caught pneumonia, and he could not cough).
Granny, though, is devastated. She keeps telling us she's at peace with this and doesn't want him to suffer, but I know my Granny, and she is not ok (and who could be, with their oldest son dying?) I am going to drive up and sleep on her couch for a while, and take her places to keep her spirits up, and just sit and hug her, or whatever it is she needs. I am perfectly prepared to drop everything and move to Bastrop if I don't think she should be alone. She is nearly ninety and lives alone (in an assisted living facility that she loves and where she has tons of friends, I wouldn't take her from there), and she doesn't know it, but one of my cousins is also dying (colon cancer - he has a wife and three children, including a set of twins that are just over a year old).
Granny is just about my favorite person in the world. She was born in 1919 and has been quirky and offbeat and irrepressible from the very beginning. She also has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met. She's the kind of person who cries when she watches the news and sees that someone has been killed at war, or in a traffic accident, because that's someone's baby. I am so afraid that loosing her own baby will kill her. I can't loose her. Granny has to live forever. It's in her contract.
Thinking about death all last night and all this morning led me to come downstairs and give my mother an express wish for my own funeral, should it occur during her lifetime. I told her everyone has to wear a funny hat. She burst into tears and hugged me.
