A request for help

I'm using a bit of latin in a story - Bruce is teaching Dick his conjugation, in the scene, and...well, I took a lot of Latin, from middle school up until I graduated high school, but I haven't really used it in at least six years. I'm rusty. I only used one full sentence, but Dick's translation of it is a large part of the scene, and I'm really hoping for some independent corroboration...

If anyone reading this has any familiarity with Latin - I'd love to know if my construction is still readable. ^_^;