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I've got midterms all this week, starting from last Friday. I ought to be focused entirely on that. My brain, however, wants to do the writey thing. Why does my brain never do the writey thing when I have a long weekend? The post hurricane 'holiday' would have been a great time to come over all writey, but noooo. We (my brain and I, that is) wait until the week of midterms. *smacks self*

As for what I've been writing... It's that thing that I said was never going to exist. And that I then said I was going to write just a brief little ficlet for. And, of course, because there's comic books involved, I've been reading my old comics, purely for reference. And spending time at the bookstore catching up on some of the more recent stuff, because you know... I have incredibly weak will and am attracted to shiny objects.

Also, I keep playing Pandemic II, even though I also keep complaining about it. Because even if the simulation isn't at all accurate, it's still really fun to decimate the human population with a homemade bioweapon. I have yet to kill Madagascar, though. Or New Zealand (damn those Kiwis and their apparently superior immune systems!). And I've only gotten Cuba, once. Apparently, no one ever travels to these places, and Madagascar, especially, closes all its seaports the moment someone in Japan starts sneezing...

Anyway, I've just finished The Calculus Exam From Hell, and I'm done with Spanish. Just Chemistry to worry about, really, now, because Biology is currently easy as cake.
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This past weekend was our big family reunion, which we hold at the camp every year (for 11 years now). I made two new recipes, both of which turned out well, and had a great time. I mostly managed to avoid political discussion, which was good (my 2nd cousin wanted very badly to convince me that Obama will be assassinated - by a Clinton conspiracy) There was much swimming and boating and eating and hugging of babies. We had a small group this year – probably about fifty people. No one was in drag this year, though there were mullet wigs galore (don’t ask). All in all, it went very well.

Dad, however, is now talking about a desire to sell the camp. I’m the only one in the family he’s talked to about it (and at some length, at that), and I’ve been sworn to secrecy. I’m finding the position a little stressful. I love the camp, but it’s his to do what he wants with, really. I think my mom is going to be devastated, though, at the mere suggestion, and I’m supposed to keep it all a secret from everyone. I wish he’d talked to us all at once, or something. >.<

Macie is recovering, but slowly, from her weekend. She is quite thoroughly worn out. She loves the camp more than any of us.   

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Cousin is still hanging on, somehow. He hasn’t eaten in 7 weeks and is on so much morphine that they can’t really increase his dosage again without putting him in a coma.

The 11th Annual Tickfaw Family Reunion (which we host every year around Memorial Day) is probably not going to happen this year. Between Cousin, and Another Cousin’s Stepdad (who has just been hospitalized and is not expecting to make it), my parents don’t think it’s a good idea.

I, on the other hand, can’t think of anything I need more right now than to spend the weekend with fifty or sixty relatives. This is not me being sarcastic – the Tickfaw Reunion is one of the highlights of my year. My mom is probably not up to organizing the whole thing, though, so I understand.

On a completely different note, this is something that made me smile. Here is another, shorter version with some different bits. I saw them both on tv earlier (I watch a lot of Discovery, when I watch tv at all - which reminds me... Discovery has a new channel, Planet Green, which I would very much like.)

Anything else to add? Hmm. Bush was in town yesterday and they shut down the interstate for him and caused unbelievable traffic. We definitely lost business because of it at the bakery.
iesika: (angst)

Two exams (five minutes apart) this morning, the latter one having been a monster (that made me nearly cry, because I thought I was prepared for it, and I'm supposed to be good at tests), and now I'm skipping math for the preservation of my sanity and trying to decide if I should go to a funeral tomorrow. 

I've never met the woman, but she was the grandmother of my cousin (the one with cancer, who, btw, hasn't eaten in six weeks and is expected to go at any time), the mother of my favorite uncle (who has been dead for eight years, as of this month), great grandmother of my baby cousins who are about to be fatherless - you get the idea. And her husband of sixty-some years is in hospital with inexplicable internal bleeding. >.< She and my aunt never got along - I never heard anything good about her from my aunt, who is the only person who's talked about her since Uncle Harold's death. My parents are both going to the service tomorrow (which requires a 4 hour drive and an overnight stay), and my mom keeps encouraging me to come with them. Brother won't be going, as he has prom tomorrow. I don't know about sister.

I hate funerals -hate them so much that I don't want one of my own. I have been to too many funerals at the Golden Funeral Home in the last few years - the place has horrible, horrible memories for me of all the relatives I've lost in recent years and will be loosing soon. And it will be like having to go to Cousin's funeral twice, because I'll be thinking of him the whole time.

The only reason I would want to go to North Louisiana right now would be to see Cousin (I'm not, honestly, sure if I want to see him the way he is now, and I don't know if my presence would be pleasant or a strain, since he's in so much pain and barely conscious most of the time - he and Mom are really close, but he barely spoke when she went last weekend), and to see his children. If I go up there, I will have to go to the funeral, and may not even get to see Cousin and his children. 

I've got a lot of schoolwork to catch/keep up with, too, between the end of the semester approaching and needing to be as prepared as possible to miss a day or two in the coming weeks. Really, though, the long and short of it is I don't want to go. But I really feel like I'm supposed to/ expected to.  I don't really expect anyone to have the answer to my dilemma. I think I'm just venting/organizing my thoughts. I am also trying very hard not to start crying in the school library.

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I think  I'm caught up on my flist, finally. Took a long time, as I've been away from the computer. Granny is better (she was so severely dehydrated and anemic that they had to give her two pints of blood, plus fluids, but she's home now). Cousin is worse. Went through my closet yesterday afternoon looking for dark, dressy things, and got new black dress flats.

I worked all this week, after returning from cousin's. I've gotten too used to working short hours - full 10 hr shifts knocked me flat, and the day before Easter was HELL.  Brother bought Smash Bros Brawl, which has been a nice distraction and which meant lots of Brother's friends have come by this week. He's now off for Spring Break (sister and I had off last week) so I expect to see more of them.

Sister and I talked about her plans to marry Practically Brother In Law - She had told him "when I graduate college," but she's just changed her catalog and now has 18 hours left, and he's still deep in school. She's decided "when I graduate college" really means "when I finish grad school," (which sekritly means "when he gets his degree and can support himself" and "when I no longer need Parent's help to pay for things). Sister is wise and wiley.

I think I have enough money saved up to start shopping for a new computer. I'd like to build one, and I've been doing research on exactly that, but I'm terribly nervous. I have successfully installed a hard drive and an optical drive, as well as upgrading video cards and installing a wireless card, so I'm at least passably familiar with the inside of a computer case - familiar enough to know that things can go horribly wrong. I really don't have the money to blow on a mistake, if I somehow screw up and a) damage something or b) buy components that aren't compatible.  So, nervous.

That's really about all that's going on, over here. Oh yeah, I can't find my $80 Spanish workbook, a chapter of which is due Wednesday, but that's par for the course. ^_^;
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Went to see cousin. He's awful. >.< Hasn't eaten in two weeks, and will be lucky to make it another. The babies know something's wrong and cry pretty much nonstop, now.

Granny was sick, then was better (but not well), and now she's on her way to the hospital because when mom talked to her on the phone she was extremely disoriented.

I got home from the dentist just now (two fillings, ick) to find mom red eyed and cleaning. Not a good sign.
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My cousin with colon cancer has gone home from the hospital to die at home. He, his brother, and several of his close friends were going to be coming to the camp to stay for a week, and we were going to go visit and cook for them, but it's been called off now because he can't get out of bed. He's told his brother and friends they have to come anyway, and play golf for him, which I think would be a very, very hard thing to do when someone you are close to could go at any time. He's 35, and he has three children and a wife. His mother lost her husband just a few years ago, and a brother late last year. My spring break is next week. I'm going to be staying with Granny (who is very near his home, as rural standards go, and who is going to be devastated. She's currently got the flu, and bad).   

I was going to post all about my weird dream and how well I did on my spanish exam, but none of that seems very important right now.
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 I just had to write and email in this paper for psych class, because I had completely forgotten that the assignment existed (to be fair, it was assigned first day of class and never mentioned again). My teacher was very cool, and called me to ask why I hadn't turned it in. He's very absent-minded professor (like me) so I think he understood.  Anyway, if you're interested in what I wrote:

Also, I have found this, by way of a link to a flash cartoon in [personal profile] caerfree's journal, and I am now in love. Listen to "Nerd Porn Auteur" and tell me you are not also in love.
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My computer is working again! Sister's boyfriend (aka Practically Brother-in-Law), who does computer-related work of some sort, stole it out of my closet and brought it to the shop, and fixed it, and brought it back, all without my noticing. ^_^; That's the good news. The stupid news is that apparently I set a password for it (though I don't remember doing so) and now I have absolutely no idea what it is. My computer's been broken for about a year, now, so I've had a good long time to forget it. 

The bad news - Two of my relatives went into the hospital yesterday, for completely unrelated reasons. My cousin with is having a colostomy, which requires he stop cancer treatments until he heals.My uncle went into the hospital for a sleep study, and his heart went crazy and they had to bring him down to the emergency room. He seems to be fine, now, though.
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I decided, kind of at the last minute, that I'd like to go see The Nutcracker, this year - only the tickets are all sold out, through Christmas. This probably ought to be frustrating, except our annual Nutcracker production (which is amazing, and incorporates a lot of cajun and creole tradition) is put on by inner city kids (coached by professionals), and the procedes go to fund music and dance classes through BREC for kids who can't afford them. So, when I saw all the tickets were sold out, I was very briefly disappointed, and then realized it was actually kind of awsome. 

I'm doing my holiday baking today, so again, if anyone wants any, leave a note with your address in my post from a week or two ago.

ETA: It just occured to me some of you might be interested in this page, which is where I found my Trepak. ^_^
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A while back, my mother decided to strip the tacky wallpaper out of our kitchen (it was installed in the mid 80s, and it showed - fushia and aquamarine were involved, and that should be all you need to know).  The actual stripping took quite a bit of time and effort, because the walls underneath had never even been primed, and the paper had sort of bonded to the drywall. 

As the paper was coming down a few inches at a time, we started to notice what a shoddy job the builders had done of evening out the walls. They were awful! And they had been spread with plaster compound in places to make them seem flat, but the plaster all fell down when we peeled the paper off it. It was a nightmare. 

Mom spent the last few days plastering the walls and smoothing them out. Then yesterday, she decided she'd done all she could do and it was time to start sanding it all down. She started doing it by hand and then went for the power sander. 

OMG I wish I had better pictures. I got home from work yesterday to find several inches of white dust coating EVERYTHING in the house, even the upstairs rooms which had been shut tight. It looked like it had snowed indoors, and my mom looked like she was wearing geisha paint. 

So, spent all day today vacuuming chandeliers and the like. >.< Not fun at all. The dust even got up into closed cupboards and curio cabinets. It was all in our glassware. My sister's laptop was buried. We vacuumed the dog. Twice. Had to take all the houseplants outside and wash them. There's a ficus in the living room we can't quite figure out how to deal with. My mother forgot to close her bedroom door - or her walk in closet. All her clothes need washing. 

I normally hate our old rainbow vacuum because I hate dealing with the disgusting sludge in the reservoir, but I don't know what we would have done without it today. We kept having to dump the water and refill, though, as it kept turning back into liquid plaster. A traditional bag vacuum would not have worked AT ALL. The house mostly looks normal now. Well, if we normally let it get really dusty.

ETA:  Went to type "wallpaper" in tags, in cause I have to update the saga (at this rate, I probably will). IE tried to guess what I was typing and fill in the blank for me, and it said "wallsex." I hope my mother has not been searching for wallpaper related info on this computer. Or that if she has, she won't trace that particular cookie back to me ^_^;)
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Today was a very interesting day for me. I was filling out a form at work, and very abruptly went blind in my right eye. It came on very quickly, from a few bright spots one minute to almost total blindness in my right eye the next. I completely twigged out, which was almost as weird and threatening as the blindness (I hardly ever panic in weird or dangerous situations, but I was hyperventilating and disoriented and completely not thinking clearly. I wanted to drive myself to the hospital, for example). So I called my mom, bawled into the phone and told her I was blind which made her freak out a bit, but she came and got me and arranged an emergency visit to the eye doc. This was at about 4:20, mind. My doctor had actually gone home already, but he turned around and came back. 

By the time we got to the doctor, I had gotten most of my vision back, except for my peripheral. I didn't have much of a headache, and what I had felt like eyestrain more than anything. Also, I had been crying (from the panic) so my eyes felt weird and tight anyway, but I definitely felt like there was pressure in or behind my right eye. It was mostly as if a very bright light was shining, or had just been shined, into the corner of my right eye. 

Anyway, Doc says it was probably a stroke. They ruled out retinal detachment rather quickly (to my great relief). He thinks the stroke was probably in my eye, rather than in my brain, since nothing else was affected. The other possibility was that it was a rare type of migraine which only affects vision and does not cause any pain, but neither I nor anyone in my family have any history of migraines. Despite being overweight, I have perfectly healthy blood pressure (I'm overweight because I'm massively addicted to carbohydrates, but my fat intake is very limited, being a vegetarian). It's all really very bizarre. 

I seem to be mostly alright, now. I go in for more tests in the morning. My right eye is still dilated, which is rather disorienting, and makes it hard to tell if things are back to normal yet. I sincerely hope there's no lasting damage. That's what the tests are meant to determine. 

And now I'm furious at myself for not having an X icon of one-eyed Subaru. This situation really calls for one. There's a good one I've seen that reads: "It's all fun and games until someone looses an eye; then it's a pairing."

ETA: Forgot to mention perhaps the most surreal part of the whole thing...While we were there, someone was taking pictures of the staff to use in updating the practice's website, and they dragged my mom out of the examining room to be their "patient" in the pictures. And I'm sitting there half (or at least a quarter) blind, waiting for the dilation drops to take effect and telling them "oh yes, you really should take her picture. She's very photogenic" and my mom is all "WTF MY DAUGHTER IS BLIND!"
iesika: (Default)

So, my intro to anatomy class has three labs involving the cutting up of unborn piggies, which I find physically disgusting and morally reprehensible. Labs are done twice a week and are only worth 10 points each. We get two "drop" labs, which means that the lowest two grades don't count (which is kind of silly since we get 10 points for turning our stuff in). Because of this, I'd made up my mind simply to skip those three lab days, leaving me only 10 points in the hole. I skipped the first two.

My sneaky teacher decided too many people had been skipping pig labs and decided to put pig lab right after the test tonight. I should have fled after handing in my paper. As it was, I spent the duration of the test thinking "stupid stinky dead baby pigs," and the rest of class trying not to vomit.

Dissection for the purposes of learning doesn't bother me, if it is done with a reasonable degree of respect and is not performed on animals killed for that purpose, or who are a "byproduct" of the meat industry. I understand that observation of cadavers is an important part of the medical learning process. I don't anticipate having a problem with cadaver study, in fact.  What I have a problem with is the casual disregard with which my classmates mutilated these animals - animals who are as intellegent as the average dog. 

I had a friend, growing up, with a pet pig - not a trendy potbellied pig, but a "food" pig he'd liberated from a litter doomed to future consumption. The pig slept on the foot of his bed until it was too big, and then it slept in a dog basket on the porch. His neighbor butchered it after it wandered into his yard, and then had the nerve to offer the kid some of the meat after he confronted him about it. Can you imagine someone offering to feed you a piece of your childhood pet? 

I haven't eaten meat since I was 10 years old (when I decided I'd had enough of my mother refusing to not put meat on my plate, and just started cooking my own meals). I don't wear leather. I buy vegan glue. I rescued a lab rat from my high school biology class and kept her as a pet, and used her as a prop in an antivivisection lecture. And I sat there in the back of the class and did not participate, listening to my classmates laughing and squealing and shouting things like "oops, I think I crushed his little balls".  I did not speak up, though. I did not walk out. I didn't even register my protest with the teacher.

I feel sick and I feel dirty.

iesika: (Default)

On a completely unrelated note, I'm on the communal computer in our kitchen right now and I can hear my parents having sex upstairs, which is very weird, but which I can handle. What is making me laugh, though, is that if I can hear them, my sister definitely can (since their headboard is just across the wall from hers) and she is an enormous prude who completely freaks out if my parents kiss in front of her (despite her being 19 and otherwise mature).
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 I've got a new job, starting Tuesday (which is technically tomorrow at this point in the evening). I'll be working in a bakery/chocolate shop. School is going well. I had a test last Saturday, and another one tomorrow (later today). 

I was supposed to be tutoring someone in biology today, but she didn't show, so I went over to a friend's place and got her hooked on Tokyo Babylon. I haven't really thought about TB/X in a while, and would like to reread some of my favorite fics,  but my computer is completely dead and I have no access to my old favorites list. 

So, clever friends of mine, I have a request. Anybody know where I can find: 

Hopefully someone can help me track these down.
iesika: (Default)
So, I am still unemployed. Granted, I didn't search too hard last week, because it was my first week of class. I've been though the classifieds, though, and applied for just about everything I was remotely qualified for. I was about to get hired yesterday by a vet as a receptionist/animal handling assistant, but she needed me Saturday mornings, when I have class. I've driven around town looking for help wanted signs, but without much luck. Got my last paycheck today, and boy was that a relief, because I was kind of afraid I'd have to fight the guy for it. 

Oh, my friend who did accounts at the drug place got fired three days after I did when she asked my boss when the two ginormous flat screen tvs he bought with the company card would be delivered. She didn't even mention the Lexus. He also didn't like that she had told me the company was delinquent on just about all its bills. She didn't tell me, though. I found that out when I was helping her sort the giant pile of random documents he dropped on her desk, first day. 

I'm at school, where I'm supposed to be studying in the library (because the bookstore's been out of one of my books for two weeks), but I got caught in the student center, running an errand, and the sky opened up. The quad's gone from sunny to flooded in the last twenty-five minutes. Sometimes I really love living in Louisiana. Now is not one of those times.
iesika: (Default)
Okay, so, Change of plans. Looks like I won't be going to Yaoi-con this year. Finances and other things will not permit, unfortunately. 

The big news is that I start class today, for the first time in a while. I'm taking prerequisite courses to get into an accelerated nursing program. I've also quit my job at the drug research place, as of today, and am looking for something new, hopefully in the medical field (even if it's just reception or something). I'm at the library now, filling out electronic applications. I couldn't handle my crazy, unprofessional bosses and lack of training for what I was being asked to do. 

On a related note, anyone have any idea if you are legally obliged to report a company's highly fishy accounting practices and similar if you work there? I'm out, but the girl who does accounts is still there (though planning to leave), and she's starting to get a bit worried. It's partially thanks to her that I'm getting out now. She's uncovered all kinds of nasty things in their back files. The one that made me quit, though, was the fact they didn't pay their company health policy for several months last year, and everyone's coverage was canceled, but they didn't tell their employees. Since I was mostly there for the insurance anyway (which I would have been eligible for at the end of the month) it didn't seem worth it anymore.

God, Boss #1 was a shit, too. I'm not going to blab on, but really, the man's a shit.
iesika: (Default)
I was listening to NPR on the way to work this morning (and my drive takes all of five minutes, so this was rather awesome timing), and they did a piece on the Iron Editor Challenge at Otakon, which was pretty cool. You can listen to it here.

As for the girly stuff, I'm hiding it behind a cut. There's no descriptive detail or anything, (if you don't click the link) but I figure it's basic courtesy not to whine about one's medical problems in "public".

I'd say "I wish I were a boy," except I'd probably have prostate problems or something if I were.

ETA: STFU eljay, "girly" is so a word. As is "progestin"
iesika: (orgy)
Due to a pair of pleasant surprise I got in the mail this week, I may actually get to attend Y-con this year. I missed it last year, and was mostly expecting to miss it this year, entirely for financial reasons. But I got two letters this week, one from Sears and one from Dillards, (both of which I previously worked for), telling me they owe me money. Nearly three hundred from Dillards and more than four hundred from Sears (which was really weird, because I haven't worked for them since early 2005). I won't get those checks for 4-6 weeks, but knowing they're coming means I can actually spend a bit of my paycheck. I will also be paying off the last of my debt once I cash my check, this afternoon, so that's $200 more every two weeks that I can put away.

So, anyone want to split a room? I'd even be willing to pay for floor space (I have a single person air mattress that rolls up to carry-on size). Who else is going? Who isn't sure? Anyone want help with any panels or projects, now that I know I'm coming? I'm thinking I might make a Yaoi-con crossword puzzle - I've made a few small puzzles lately and I'm getting good at it, though I haven't tried doing a theme, yet. I'm still without a home computer, so no AMVs from me. (I hope to all that is holy I can manage to retrieve my half finished ones from my drive, when I finally do get a new computer.

On a completely unrelated but similarly fanish note: OMG 13 HOURS I'M NOT READY HURRY UP DAMN YOU I'M NOT READY AAAARRGHH! *flails*
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